Keeping with my Monday posting trends, I’ll go ahead and give you something to read that’s really not worth your time nor my effort, follow that up with a sub-par Tool of the Week and a half-drunk Word of the Day (to be posted later today when I’m done watching TV and reading other websites that are better than mine).

Also, I’ll go ahead and promise a couple of new features to be introduced this week that will probably never pan out. But seriously, they’re going to be amazing. I promise.

Anyway, here’s some thoughts from the weekend:

- I watched 97 laps of the Daytona 500 (the most since I was 9 years old) and never once thought about changing the channel. I don’t know how else to explain that other than I really enjoy the insightful post-crash interviews… Jeanne Zelasko: “What happened?” Angry Driver: “I have no idea.” BRILLIANT.

- I watched an entire game of DIII women’s basketball… and enjoyed it. I don’t know how else to explain that other than that my friend who I went to watch play is attractive.

- I watched an entire Ohio U. wrestling match and enjoyed that too. But only because I have a thing for sweaty guys rolling around and fondling each other’s genitalia.

- I watched the entire Celebrity All-Star Game and didn’t enjoy it all that much. Except seeing Roger Lodge hoop it up. He has hairy arms.

- Allen Iverson won the All-Star MVP award with worse stats than every one of the Darke County Slammers. Those of you not familiar with the Darke Co. Slammers should note that they are a jr.-high mentally handicapped team where I’m from. I was on it.

- I got home late Saturday night to find a random mom stumbling drunk through my house and nobody knew who she was, and I DIDN’T take advantage of her. See, Ladies, I am sensitive and caring (but only because she was hideously ugly).

- I want to have J.J. Redick’s baby.