January 27, 2005

Play Broomball !!! (If you want to die)

I was going to blow your mind away with a stellar post today but I don’t feel like it because I busted ass on the ice during my intramural broomball game and now my back is as stiff as Christopher Reeve. Let the laughter commence… NOW. The beauty of that joke is that it worked well because he’s dead, but it also would have worked well if he were still alive. See you in hell.

p.s. – Broom-ball is the absolute worst sport EVER invented. If you don’t know what it is, just picture a bunch of co-ed mentally retarded first-graders (with helmets, naturally) trying to poke a three-legged schizophrenic rabbit with a stick. Oh yeah, and all of this is supposed to be accomplished ON ICE. The whole time I was busy spending 100% of my energy trying to not die, so needless to say I wasn’t emotionally devastated when my team lost 53-0.

Speaking of inventions, today is the 79th anniversary of the first public introduction to the television. Back in 1926, some Scottish guy (John Logie Baird) presented his invention and since then, the world has not been the same. Let the obesity-fest begin. Somehow I doubt that he had “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” and “The Littlest Groom” in mind when he came up with the idea.

- Quick list of the worst things ever to happen to television: reality shows, lifetime, oprah, sex & the city, david schwimmer, webTV, poker, the last 8 years of saturday night live, rodger lodge, the last 5 years of the simpsons, steve irwin

- Quick list of the best things ever to happen to television: seinfeld, family guy, webster, ESPN, Skinemax (when i was 13, and now when i’m 22, but only when my internet goes out), bob barker, roller derby, kelly kapowski, hdtv

Thanks John, I guess.

I just found a few gmail invites that I didn’t know I had, so if you want one, I’ll give them out to the first few emails that intrigue me - whether they be funny, thought-provoking, or boner-inducing. Alright so I’ll probably tend to favor the boner-inducing ones. Sue me.

If you’re bored and like to play pictionary, go to iSketch and play an online version – except this one’s with paint. I don’t understand why, but people actually got upset at me because I kept drawing boobs all the time.

Also, I recently got on thefacebook.com. I used to make fun of it, but now that I’m on it, dammit if it’s not addicting. I recommend it if you enjoy wasting three hours looking at people in the “Formerly Male, Currently Horny” group. Alright I made that one up, but here’s my page. Add me so that the hot girl in my English class will think I’m cool.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go ice down my back. And my nuts… but I usually do that every night anyway. Uh oh. It appears as if my cable just went out. Scratch that part about the ice and add the part about me hanging myself with the coax cable. I can’t live without TV. Bravo, John Logie Baird. Bravo.

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