This installment of Movie Preview Reviews highlights the only two previews that I can remember from a movie that I just saw last night. Whichever other previews were shown must have been fantastically crapular for me to forget them 10 hours later. On with the reviews…

(Again, for those of you who didn’t catch the first installment of Movie Preview Reviews, Vol. 1, previews are ranked from 0-10 on Entertainment Value (EV), Production Value (PV), and Did It Make Me Want To Watch The Full Length Film (DIMMWTWTFLF).

Batman Begins – This preview begins by acting like it’s a weird “Van Helsing” type preview, complete w/ creepy looking guy and weird scenery. Creepy Looking Guy apparently turns out to be Batman, and the rest of the preview highlights him learning to be Batman, which is confusing because I always thought Batman was just a really rich guy in a cool costume with cool gadgets driving a cool car. Not sure where I stand on this one yet, as the actual movie doesn’t come out till next summer. EV-2, PV-5, DIMMWTWTFLF-4

Constantine – “Whoa, cold!” These are the first two words in the preview, spoken ever so eloquently by the very versatile Keanu Reeves. Only Keanu Reeves can pull off a line like this in his ever-so-poignant way. The rest of the preview has something to do with the battle between God and demons, interlaced with horrible special effects and ridiculous action scenes. This may be the worst movie preview I’ve ever seen. Keanu Reeves sucks. EV-0, PV-0, DIMMWTWTFLF-0

Don’t forget that “3: The Dale Earnhardt Story” premieres tonight @ 9:00 on ESPN, immediately following Heisman trophy presentation that I don’t really care about this year. Play the “3” Drinking Game, but first tell your parents that you love them and then send out your funeral invitations, because it will be a bumpy ride.